How Fast I Respond To Your Message Is Not About How Much I Like You

Rebecca Ahn
4 min readMay 18, 2021

We’re all prone to antisocial behavior, even the most bubbly extroverted Tracy Flicks among us. That has only become more pronounced with the pandemic. Socializing gets pretty hard when the whole world feels like it’s gone mad and is crumbling down around our very feet.

I’m no stranger to this feeling, especially lately, even though such a notion runs counter to the enduring image just about everyone in my life has of me.

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve seemed to people like the ultimate extroverted extrovert. In high school, they called me Becky “Bring It” Ahn. No I wasn’t a cheerleader, but I had the energy of one. I literally bounced off walls.

Photo by Skitterphoto from Pexels

So imagine my surprise to discover over the past few years that I’ve become a bit of a hermit. It happened so gradually that even I barely noticed, let alone others. Somehow, over time, I’ve become extremely private, grown tired of most other people, and developed a strong dislike for the spotlight… which ironically I seemed to adore as a child.

Some might call this growing up. I think of it more as growing inward.

The pandemic seems to have been a strong period of inward growth for a lot of folks. While this personal growth has been mostly helpful and illuminating, it has also come with a few less-than-ideal side effects. Like a fresh loathing for social media. A hesitation to make or commit to any plans. And an increasingly long delay responding to text and email messages. Even from the people I still like.

Photo by from Pexels

If this describes you too, you are not alone. Even if you were a social butterfly as a child. You are allowed to change. Because people change. Or at least, the ones who’re actually learning and growing and evolving do. So don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it. Such change can actually be a good thing.

I’m nowhere near the person I was 20 years ago. Or 20 months ago. Or even 20 minutes ago. And I’m pretty good with that. It hasn’t always produced the most positive of impact on others, but overall I’d say it’s been a positive improvement for…

Rebecca Ahn

Writer • Wanderer • Warrior | | Sharing stories that empower others to survive and thrive